Not the halloween where kids go around the neighborhood and get candy, that halloween is awesome. I'm talking about the halloween where people older than 13 participate.
Listen 14 year olds, you're almost in high school, you aren't allowed to go around and take candy from perfectly deserving children. I know getting free candy sounds pretty good, but get over it and stop being a loser. If you are in high school and you still trick-or-treat that's just deplorable. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to be spotted by the group of Abercrombie douche bags and watch them give you a swirly before your Intro to Triganometry class.
Another thing about you high schooler's, more specifically high school girls, if you are already going to halloween parties dressed as an angel or devil but really its just some whore suit, stop, you aren't in college yet. Don't worry though you'll have plenty of time to dress up like a stripper and say you're only doing it because it's halloween, when really we all know that you would do it everyday if it were more socially acceptable.
I do have some good news for those of you who fall into this category however, it's not too late to apply to fashion school; there you can dress like a whore every damn day if you want and fit right in. So with that being said, I hope everyone has a great day and a wonderful halloween.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
5. "I Could Care Less"
-"Really? So you care at least a little bit?"
-"What? No I said I COULD care less."
-"Right, so you care a least the minimal amount."
-"Dude no, you don't get what I'm saying."
-"No idiot, you don't get what you're saying, do you know what the word COULD means?"
-"Of course I do moron."
-"Really? Because saying that you COULD do something means that it's possible for you to do it."
-"Dude, you lost me."
-"Jesus. If you COULD care less, it means that it's possible for you to....Fuck it, just nevermind."
Why are people so Goddamned stupid? It's "I COULDN'T care less." Fucking idiots.
-"What? No I said I COULD care less."
-"Right, so you care a least the minimal amount."
-"Dude no, you don't get what I'm saying."
-"No idiot, you don't get what you're saying, do you know what the word COULD means?"
-"Of course I do moron."
-"Really? Because saying that you COULD do something means that it's possible for you to do it."
-"Dude, you lost me."
-"Jesus. If you COULD care less, it means that it's possible for you to....Fuck it, just nevermind."
Why are people so Goddamned stupid? It's "I COULDN'T care less." Fucking idiots.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
4. People Are Afraid of Mice
In the words of Job Bluth, "COME ON!!" I mean look at this thing. As far as I'm concerned this is one cute God damn piece of shit. And I say that with the maximum amount of affection. How come everytime I look at a "cute" baby I think "that baby isn't cute at all," but when I see an "ugly" mouse I just think "awww"? And someone explain this to me, how is this scary and a hamster is cute? A mouse is pretty much adorable and I'm sick of them having the bad reputation that they do. So get your unfounded knee jerk reations out of here and get with the program people, I'm sick of this shit.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
3. Lower Back Tatoos
The way I have always understood the motivation behind tattoos is that they serve as a way to express yourself; permanently. Well when it comes to these lower back tattoos on what seems to be almost every girl I look at, the only thing I see is a girl expressing the fact that she is either a slut; a tease; someone who is dependant upon turning heads in order to feel good about themselves, or someone with an identity as flexible as whatever trend is popular at the time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti tattoo. I just think that if you're going to get yourself inked for life, it should be something that you are 100% sure you know you are going to want to see staring back at you in the mirror until the day you die. Not something you can't even see in the mirror because it's designed to get your ASS more attention.
Remember what the tattoo trend was not too long ago? Those ill-thought out tat's that had some design around a girl's belly button (displayed in Spike Lee's '25th Hour' by Anna Paquin). Yeah, how are those things looking now that a bunch of you have had kids?
These things are permanent. And in however many years it takes for these back tat's to become the bellbottoms that they are, guess what? You're still going to have to wear them. Isn't that hilarious? Of course you could go through a really painful and expensive laser removal process. Or you could try something really crazy for a change.....Be unique and don't buy in to some lame trend just because every other cookie cutter of a girl does it too.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti tattoo. I just think that if you're going to get yourself inked for life, it should be something that you are 100% sure you know you are going to want to see staring back at you in the mirror until the day you die. Not something you can't even see in the mirror because it's designed to get your ASS more attention.
Remember what the tattoo trend was not too long ago? Those ill-thought out tat's that had some design around a girl's belly button (displayed in Spike Lee's '25th Hour' by Anna Paquin). Yeah, how are those things looking now that a bunch of you have had kids?
These things are permanent. And in however many years it takes for these back tat's to become the bellbottoms that they are, guess what? You're still going to have to wear them. Isn't that hilarious? Of course you could go through a really painful and expensive laser removal process. Or you could try something really crazy for a change.....Be unique and don't buy in to some lame trend just because every other cookie cutter of a girl does it too.
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