8. International Star Registry

So I'm listening to the radio the other day and I hear a commercial for "International Star Registry," a company that you pay to name a star after you. OK, who gave what authority to whom to name stars after people. Does the "International Star Registry" own the stars? If so, how the fuck did they pull that off? Who had the rights to the stars previously? And how did they get those rights in the first place? Can you just squat on the stars like they're some piece of abandoned land? Do you have to pay extra to get a star that is more visible in areas with high pollution? Can I buy the Asteroid Belt? I'm going to start selling clouds to people.